How Many Hats Do you Wear?
Hi! I’m Emily.
I am a proud mom of two little ones and I just went back to work full-time after my second maternity leave. I also wear many other hats, as many moms do – I am the house manager, the personal shopper, the cleaning lady, the chef, the personal stylist, the therapist, the nurse, the sleep consultant, the gardener, the banker, the handy woman, the entertainer, the decorator, the event manager, the teacher and last but not least, the wife. I have three clients – a two-year-old daughter, a one-year-old son and a 30-something-husband.
You’d think I’d be more tired than I am. And, maybe I am really tired? But no one wants to hear about it…
This is all expected of me; it’s a given that I have to have many jobs, most of them unpaid (at least in a monetary sense). The funny thing is that I don’t mind the roles I play, I enjoy it. Maybe it’s because I like to have control over things, and maybe it’s because I like to reap the benefits of the successes; one day when I have time, I’ll think about it.
What does bother me is the expectation of what I need to be doing or what I should be doing. There’s also a lot of pressure to perform and do it perfectly. Moms are well aware of all the judgement that surrounds us; it comes from everywhere. It’s so omnipresent that there are #hashtags dedicated to it, blogs and essays about it, and memes to poke fun of it. It’s great we’re talking about it and I do see the impact of the effort to quell the judgement.
In my mommy & baby classes I’ve taken over the last couple years, anything goes! Yeah, you may get a few looks if you bring out a bottle of formula to feed your babe (fun fact: I bottle-fed my kids), but the looks eventually turn elsewhere without any criticizing words said. What does remain though, is still the expectation to do all the things. All of them. However, it does seem that perhaps the expectation to do all of them perfectly is starting to lessen. Maybe that’s something?
So, here’s my call to action for all the moms (and dads) out there. Instead of posting your perfect family picnic picture on Instagram, post a picture of a recent family moment that didn’t go exactly as planned and hashtag it with #momfail or #parentingfail. It’s ok to not be perfect (it’s normal, in fact) and it’s way more entertaining for your followers when you post about it. You may just start something :)
By ~ECD~, @messybabies