The 5 Love Languages Applied to Self-Love

Dr.Gary Chapman,bestsellingauthorofthebookThe5LoveLanguages,presentsasimple truth: relationships grow better when we understand each other. Dr. Chapman created The 5 Love Languages book and quiz in order to help couples understand each other’s unique way of being loved.


The 5 Love Languages are as follows: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time and Physical Touch. It is believed that by truly understanding our partners love language, we can identify the root of conflicts, give and receive love in more meaningful ways and grow closer than ever.


While the love languages are most commonly known and used for couples, they are an amazing way to get to know and love ourselves! Self-love is just about the hottest buzzword right now and for good reason! It’s time that we start learning about ourselves, understanding ourselves and giving ourselves the utmost love and respect because after all, if we don’t love ourselves how will we truly love anyone else? Throughout this blog post we will touch on each love language and explore how it can be applied to self-love as well as a journal prompt or two to help you put it into action.


Words of Affirmation


Have you heard of positive self-talk? What about affirmations? Both of these are used to create a healthy mindset in which we think and talk about ourselves. If we constantly put ourselves down and compare, we’ll never be happy. We need to learn how to talk to ourselves with gentleness and respect.


Positive self-talk is not narcissism in any way; it is recognizing the truth, in ourselves and in situations. One of the fundamental truths is that we will make mistakes - we are not perfect no matter how hard we try. To expect perfection and life without difficult is unrealistic. Instead, we need to practice positive self-talk so that when those situations do arise, we are prepared to keep moving forward with an open and optimistic mindset.

  • List negative thoughts you have about yourself. For each thought, turn it into a positive one

  • Make a list of your top 5 accomplishments. Which are you most proud of? How do you feel about yourself when you think about them?

Acts of Service

A side effect of living in the 21st-century is that our lives are go-go-go and if we’re not careful, this can take a devastating toll on our wellbeing. In order to save ourselves from melting into a pile of mush, we must come up with a plan to take care of ourselves. No matter how indulgent or selfish the term may sound, self-care is essential for our mental, physical and emotional wellbeing.


It’s in this love language that we need to take the time to do nice things for ourselves and make sure we’re treating our minds and bodies with kindness and love. We must carry out those positive thoughts and turn them into actions. Whether that be creating a daily self-care routine, cleaning up/organizing your space or getting on top of your monthly physical and mental health appointments.

  • What does my ideal self-care routine look like?

  • When I’m really busy how can I find 10 minutes of time for myself? What can I do in that time?

Receiving Gifts

This love language tends to get a bad rap. To some, it can seem greedy or as if someone is only in the relationship for the gifts. When applied to self-love, this love language is trying to tell us that it’s okay and actually very important to treat ourselves every once and awhile. Whether that be buying yourself or some junk food for Friday night, as long as it’s coming from a place of goodness.

This love language tells us that it’s important we remember to invest in ourselves and our life. If you have always dreamed of traveling the world in a year, work hard saving up for it and book that flight; or if you want to go back to school to enhance your qualifications, make sure the time is right and hit the books! It’s okay to put yourself first as long as you don’t get too carried away.

  • How will you make sure to invest in yourself and your future?

  • What are three activities that light you up and leave you feeling the most energized?

Quality TimeIn today’s constantly connected world, finding time to be by ourselves can be quite challenging. Even if we’re not physically engaging with others, we’re always connected via technology. Although it may be difficult, seeking that solitude is actually very healthy. There are multiple physical and psychological benefits of getting some alone time, some being:

  • Allows your brain to reboot and unwind

  • Helps improve concentration and increase productivity

  • Gives you an opportunity to discover yourself The simple fact is that we don’t prioritize ourselves. We’re so dedicated to making ourselves available for others (which is great) but we often forget about taking care of ourselves so that we’re the best we can be. I think we should all adopt the concept of dating ourselves. Setting aside time for daily mindfulness practices, making time for interests and hobbies, prioritizing sleep and exercise and making sure not to over-schedule ourselves. Life’s too short. Take care of yourself.

  • What does your daily routine look like? How can you change it to make more time for yourself?

  • What helps you slow down and feel more present?

Physical TouchWhen applied to self-love, this love language means that you feel at peace when you’ve done things to make your body feel better. The concept of self-care is brought to life by carrying our physical acts to show your body love and respect. If you’ve had a long day at work, run a warm bath with some Epsom salts. If you feel tense or stressed, stretch your muscles or get a massage. Our bodies do so much for us and they deserve to be appreciated.

  • Write a thank you letter to your body for all it is capable of

  • What does my body need right now? How will I make sure I give it to myself? Now that you have a little bit more knowledge on the self-love languages and how they can be applied to ourselves, what’s your self-love language?

Featured Posts
Recent Posts
Archive
Search By Tags
No tags yet.
Follow Us
  • Facebook Basic Square
  • Twitter Basic Square
  • Google+ Basic Square