Stop Comparing & Start Living
I’ve lived most of my life comparing myself to others - in school, at dance, with relationships, etc. This super unhealthy habit began to take over my life and left me with little confidence and no self-love. It wasn’t until I was so unhappy that I decided to make a change. I came to realize that once I started down that road, there would never be an end - and I definitely didn’t want to live my life like that.
I learned that by comparing myself to others, I was giving them control of my life. By comparing my every move, I was creating a self-destructive monster that wouldn’t give up until she was perfect.
NEWSFLASH!! Nobody’s perfect and the only thing that you’re better at than other people is being yourself. Instead of worrying about meeting people’s expectations and being better at everyone else at everything, we should focus our energy on being a better version of ourselves. Through discipline and tough love, we can learn to be happy with who we are and what we’re capable of. Remember, although you can’t be everything, you can be anything!
Comparing yourself to others is a recipe for unhappiness and while it’s a fairly difficult habit to break, it is possible! Keep reading for some tried and true ways to start:
1. Become Aware A lot of the time we compare ourselves without actually realizing it. Whether it’s because we’ve always done it or we’re just not really aware of our thoughts. Once you realize you’re making these comparisons, stop yourself and gently change focus. Don’t beat yourself up - you’re only human - just softly adjust your lens
2. Ditch the Highlight Reel When we compare, we’re usually comparing our weaknesses to someone else’s strengths or our lowest moments to someone else’s highs. The funny thing about life is that we never truly know what someone else is going through. Social media is an amazing platform but it has its downfalls, in which it tends to be a highlight reel. The next time you compare yourself to someone on social media, remember that you may not be seeing the full picture.
3. Use Comparison as Motivation If you’re one who just can’t stop comparing then you might as well use it to your advantage! Using comparison as a means to motivate yourself may help you in moving forward. This type of “skilled comparison” is a way of looking at others with a full heart, stripped of any emotional reactions and an intent to learn and grow 4. Count Your Blessings It’s easy to get caught up in the never ending race we call life without taking the time to truly reflect on what we’re grateful for. Refocus your energy and reflect on all that you have already! Think about how lucky you are to have what you have. Remind yourself everyday that there is so much good in your life.
5. Focus on Your Strengths Change gears from always focusing on your weaknesses and celebrate what you’re good at! I know what you’re thinking, “What am I good at? How could I possibly be talented? There’s no way I could have strengths”. Sorry to break it to you, but you’re wrong. You are so gifted and blessed with so many different talents, even if you don’t think so. We are all good at something so take some time to find what it is that’s yours.
6. Learn to Love Enough If you’re constantly comparing, you’ll always want what others have. It’s a vicious cycle that will never lead to happiness because you’ll always be looking for that next thing. Learn to realize that what you have is already enough. You’re so incredibly lucky to be alive - appreciate it and know that you are enough. Breaking a habit is challenging - it takes discipline, time and a lot of tough love - but it’s worth it. Here are a few of my favourite quotes that remind me that comparing myself to others just isn’t worth it: ☀ “A flower does not think of competing to the flower next to it. It just blooms.” ☀ “Admire someone else’s beauty without questioning your own” ☀ “Don’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle”