Moving on from Toxic Situations

It’s okay to miss someone. It won’t kill you (even though it sometimes feels like it).

You can be alone and feel lonely. It doesn’t mean you absolutely need someone to hold your hand. It means you need more of yourself, you need to connect to your feelings. It means you should give yourself a hug, right now.

It’s okay to be sad. It doesn’t mean you always will be. It also doesn’t mean that you have to run for dear life. It’s okay to be angry. It means a boundary was crossed. A need wasn’t answered. It’s okay to wish things were different, however it doesn’t mean they will be.

It’s easier to fall for an ideal version instead of the REAL thing – to remember only the good parts. You can miss someone or something, yet it doesn’t mean it is good for you. It doesn’t mean you need it back.

No need to blame yourself if things go wrong. It doesn’t mean it was your fault or that it has anything to do with you. Sometimes it’s just not the right timing, the right place...or the right person for you long-term. Maybe they just needed to show you a different perspective, or to teach you a life lesson. Who knows...

It’s important to remember there’s no "bad" or "good" story. There’s no sign of what you should and shouldn’t do because you’re always just being redirected towards a new goal. Try to learn along the way. Some people believe your past determines your future, but I am the other way around. I believe your future sets the trajectory for your present. You can only connect the dots looking back – you’ll understand the whys later. Don’t overthink everything.

You need to commit to yourself before you can take care of anything else. The thing with a toxic situation is that without realizing it, you slowly but surely forget to take care of yourself, and before you know it you feel like shit. The situation might be fixable, however sometimes it isn’t. Maybe you just need to have a talk with that person or take some space. Other times, you might need to walk away. Change is never easy but the pain will pass. Any ending needs a bit of grieving. It’s normal. Try to keep in mind that the peace it will give you is worth the momentary discomfort.

You don’t always get what you want but you always get what you need. I personally know how short life can be. I know everything can get taken away at any moment. So for a long time I was scared of losing anything. Don’t die with regrets was my motto. I would act quite impulsively, not asking myself if a decision was good or not for my mental health, because hey, there might not be a tomorrow. The problem with that kind of thinking is that if you’re alive but you feel like less than yourself, there’s really no point to it. Don’t keep people or things close to you if they are toxic for your happiness. Spending your days anxious or depressed isn’t great, trust me. When you start to doubt your own worth because of someone else, there’s probably a problem... and no, it’s not just your insecurities.

It’s okay to say I love you but I’m letting you go. So here it is...

I’m still learning to stop running after people who don’t want me, Because really, there’s no point in forcing something that doesn’t want to be there. If they act like they can’t be bothered to make an effort, believe them.

When they’re trying to leave you, let them, for your own sake.

The best is yet to come. You are exactly where you are meant to be. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – you shouldn’t have to ask for love. Ever. If it’s not gladly given, it isn’t worth having. (Not talking about how someone can better express it; just the fact that you have to ask for it). One of my favourite quotations says "You are too full of life to be only half-loved." Remember that you have the potential for so much more. Don’t let anyone or anything hold you down.

Written by: Camille Richard

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