In light of the passing of Valentine’s Day last month, I wanted to write a little piece about something encompassing love. Many people see and express love in many different ways, shapes and forms. And that is what I find most beautiful about love: it is ever changing and growing and never the same for anyone. However with this, just like any other thing that may have different points of view (ie., racism, sexism, religions) there are disagreements. Now I am in no way categorizing love with any of these things, but rather I am simply showing just how different points of view may lead to differences of opinions and in a worst-case scenario, end in arguments.
Throughout high school, it was very easy to see this theory of love in play. Many relationships would come and go – not necessarily my own, but others around me. One day someone would be kissing one person at their locker, and the next week that brunette would be traded for a blonde. I just want to point out there is no judgement at all here, I am merely attempting to paint a picture.
Now I want you to think back on one or two relationships you have had in the past and remember those things that really bothered you. Maybe they didn’t express their love for you enough, or they were not that big on PDA, but you were. Just the little things. This blog post is not meant to belittle the major things in a relationship that SHOULD be present. Your significant other SHOULD love you and SHOULD respect you ALWAYS. All I want to say is, each person expresses love differently. Another disclaimer I want to point out is your significant other should reciprocate the love you give them. They just may express that reciprocation in another form, but it should still be identifiable.
I once saw a Facebook post by an old mutual high school friend, where he was writing to an old lover. He explained that even though they did not work out, he still cared for her and it had ended mutually based on the premise that their expressions of love were not compatible with each other. Now personally, I feel as though if you love someone, even if your specific love languages may not match up, eventually you will learn and begin to understand the way they express love.
Some people express their loves through I love yous, others through their actions, and others may express it simply by opening up. It may seem completely logical, but even throughout my own relationship it took me a long time to truly understand her love language. I myself am always a more expressive person, whereas she is much more quiet. She says I love you by being there, by holding my hand when I begin to feel anxious or rubbing my back and pulling me in for a big hug when the tears begin to fall.
I used to believe that love was simply saying I love you, and reminding people over and over so they wouldn’t forget. But I am still learning that love is many different things. Love to me has evolved over the years. It is those nights where you just want to cuddle up under a warm blanket with a warm cup of tea with some good company, it is doing the little things for someone when they most need it, soft kisses, and last but not least it is being in the moment with the one person who matters the most to you.
So what is love for you?
Written by: Maja Menegotto