Love Won’t Fix You
Love won’t fix you. Love won’t enter your life and make everything shiny and new.
It won’t make you stop comparing yourself to everyone else, their possessions, their adventures, their seemingly perfect lives depicted for the universe to see on social media. Love won’t magically make you understand that all of those tiny insignificant things you think really matter, in the grand scheme of things, don’t.
Because when you look back on the life you’ve lived thus far, your memories of moments where you were present will give you much more happiness than the amount of likes they got on Instagram. And love will certainly fill you with life and try to make you realize what’s important, but that’s just it. Love can only try. The rest is up to you.
Love won’t make you love yourself. It won’t make you accept the person you see in the mirror every morning. Freckles or scars, birthmarks or stretched skin, curves or edges, the first things you see in the mirror that scream IMPERFECTION. UGLY. UNWORTHY. Love can be the whisper in your ear that tells you all of these terrible things you think about yourself aren’t true, that you are in fact beautiful and worthy, but love won’t make you believe it.
Love will try to make you see the wonderful things about yourself that everyone else saw a long, long time ago: your importance, your capability, your strength and vivacity. Love will look at you and explain them, but it won’t hold up a magic mirror that makes you appreciate your own reflection and the beauty beyond it.
Love won’t fix the things inside of you that you have to fix yourself.
It won’t be the band aid that mysteriously heals your wounds. Love will cover them up, but the healing part has to come from you. Because love won’t make you realize that some things are out of your control, including the things you’ve spent the majority of your life blaming on yourself. Love won’t make you realize that blame is a terrible escape for the problems you can’t seem to figure out.
Love won’t walk into your life like Cinderella’s fairy godmother. It won’t give you a horse-drawn carriage and glass slipper and tie a pretty bow around all of the broken things. In love, you’ll experience moments of happiness, laughter, and joy. You’ll smile for reasons you never knew you could, and feel weird things you’ve definitely never felt before. Like when the amount of care you have for someone becomes equal to the fear you have of losing them.
Love will only ever feel like magic. And yes, in love you’ll do great things and grow and change and learn, but it won’t extinguish the problems you wish it would. Love does not grant your wishes. It doesn’t make your dreams come true. It supports you along the way, but it won’t do the hard work for you. Love will help you realize the work you have to do yourself, and give you strength in the process, but love will not fix you.
Written by: Nicole Tarkoff