New Year, Same Me

New Years Eve has always been a very weird concept for me. On one hand, I love all holidays and I love celebrating them, and NYE is no exception. But on the other hand, the idea that in a matter of minutes everything has changed has always troubled me. I think time is pretty arbitrary and the flip of a calendar doesn’t seem to change anything -- we still wake up on January 1st with all the same problems and issues the world had the night before.

That said, I have consistently bought into the “New Year, New Me” idea and used the new year as a new start for me. This year isn’t all that different, but I’m changing the way I approach my ‘resolutions’ as a whole and the year. Now, I know your social media pages and subscriptions are probably filled with content about the new year, so I’m sorry if you’re sick of hearing about this, but I have some insights to share.

2018 has been a really big year for me. A lot changed over a short period of time, and I was forced to just go with it. I think this made me realize that changes can happen all the time, and I’m constantly redefining myself and growing as a person. This year has had some of my highest highs, but also some of my lowest lows, and with that comes a lot of reflection and a lot of realizations about where I’m at in life. I’m no longer trying to hold off change or the passage of time (still a little scared of it though) and I’m looking forward to 2019 and all the years to come.

So here’s what I learned about me and the new year…

After returning to therapy this past fall, I’ve done a lot of work around how one of my main coping mechanisms is pushing my problems into the future and thinking “if I can get to ___, I’ll be able to be happy.” More often than not, this is measured in long periods of time where I hope to happy in 6 months or 1 year, etc.

What I’ve learned this year is that’s not how I want to live my life anymore. Yes, dreaming up big plans for life can be fun and exciting but at a certain point it can take over your present and you lose yourself in the future. My main goal for 2019 is to work with this idea, to bring my perspective on life back to the present and near future. I have some little goals that will add in to this bigger goal, but I think that’s the way to do it. I think it’s really important to make changes or set goals at this time of year based on your intention behind it. Try and have your intention something that isn’t reliant on numbers or measurements, but on a feeling or an idea.

At the end of the day, you know you the best. You know what’s going to work for you. If you hate NYE and you are going to delete all your social media accounts for the week, you’re allowed to. If you love dressing up and posting inspirational quotes about how this is going to be your best year yet, do it. Whatever you do this NYE, and throughout 2019, make sure it’s true to who you are. That’s really what it’s all about.

Post by: Hana Wilson


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