Self-love Dates

I had my first date when I was about 19-20 years old. I was so anxious that I didn’t even drive; I asked my brother to drop me off. I didn’t have the appetite to eat before, so I went on an empty stomach. I thought about cancelling many times before I found myself in my brother’s car. I got to the tiny venue to see one of my favorite bands, Broods. I walked inside and found a spot right in front of the stage. As I waited for Broods, conversations around me started to fade out as my conversation with myself started.

“You did it! You are here on your own, and you’re okay. Just breathe.”

Then, I spent the next hour dancing and getting lost with the music. I felt free and invincible. Before I knew it, my self-love date was done.

Regardless of your relationship status (single, taken, or complicated), I highly encourage treating yourself to a self-love date. Brush the hair, put on a killer outfit, and take care of yourself.

My favorite self-love date ideas:


My taste in music is a little odd, so it’s hard to find a friend to go to a show with. When I do go with a friend, I always feel the pressure of making sure he/she is enjoying the music as much as I am. Thus, sometimes, I prefer enjoying live music on my own, so I have gone on many more self-love dates at music venues. To keep my anxiety at bay, I choose small and local venues when I go solo. Safety is key!

Art Museums (or any museums, really)

I can admire art for hours, and I know that takes some patience. I literally have a discussion with myself in my head when I analyze art. I also love reading the little placards with history/tidbits.


Similar to art museums, I shop for hours. Whether it is Urban Outfitters, Target, Safeway or thrift stores, I circle around the perimeter a couple of times. I have conversations with myself and with products. My critical thinking is so heightened at these places as I think about how I can incorporate a new shirt into my current wardrobe; what I can make for dinner with the ingredients I already have at home; and how can I turn a broken cup into a cute pot for my plants.


I like walking around aimlessly with my headphones in - having a “Begin Again” moment. I am still a hopeless romantic on a self-love date. Walks are also the best time for me to have a conversation with myself out loud and appreciate the little things in life as I breathe in fresh air, stare at the clouds, and see old age of trees.


As cliche as it may sound, the combination of a Lush bath bomb and wine does wonders. For 30 minutes, I play some sombre tracks by HONNE and mentally check out. This time, no mental conversations.

By: @diemberly

#SelfLove #selfcare #DiemLe #therealher #selfacceptance #feminist #feminism

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