Being in a dark place was scary - not because of my life, but because I was left to figure out my next step. My only choice was to rise up. The idea of picking myself up and out of the dumps was so intimidating to me that I continued to question if it was even worth attempting.
By healing, I knew I would lose a lot. I expected it to be challenging and also permanent. Healing was, and is, a process. It is not something that happens in a week, a month, or even a year. I find myself in recovery and still having nights where I wish I would allow myself to slip up. I had to tell myself that I could only rise. I had to love myself day by day through my own eyes, and, the truth is, it was the hardest thing I have ever done.
The road to recovery is neither a linear nor a clear equation. I had to look at not just what was bringing me down, but everything that led up to that as well. Making changes to my thinking process was crucial. I had to be able to change my perception in order to grow and thrive. There were many down parts to recovery but also many milestones where I was so proud of my progress. It felt so easy to love myself.
Healing is hard. There isn’t a clear path from point A to point B. You have to give yourself grace when you are struggling and celebrate the victories when they arise. Lots of love and hope will lead you to feel immense peace. There is not an exact end to healing, but I do believe there comes a day where you have healed so much that loving yourself becomes second nature.
Love yourself, because you were made a beautiful human and deserve to rise :)