No, I’m Not Seeing Anyone. Yes, I’m Fine With It.
As a recent university grad, I am very familiar with the “are you seeing anyone?” question. At family events, in conversation with random people at the mall or a coffee shop, with friends I haven’t seen in a while… the list goes on. And for the longest time, I’d feel bad any time I said “not right now, no”. I would feel like I was failing at adulthood, or like I was “behind” my peers. Then I realized… I’m allowed to enjoy being single. I’m allowed to enjoy my own company. Shocking concept, I know.
At twenty-one years old, I know I’m young. Yet, at this age, I have friends who are getting married, having babies, building houses, getting mortgages, or taking killer job offers. I have friends in med school, those who are in PhD programmes, and just doing really cool things in general. So, I would think if they are super successful in their careers, AND they have partners, what is wrong with me?! It got very easy for me to feel like I needed to be in a relationship. But a few months ago I realized that I am allowed to put myself first. I am allowed to learn more about myself – sans boyfriend – without feeling like I need to justify it.
I don’t want to “sow my wild oats” or have a “bachelorette phase”, or anything like that. Some people do, and that’s awesome! Have all that fun girl, because you deserve to live your life the way you want, to explore relationships in a way that makes you feel good. Personally, I’m an introvert and just don’t think that’s for me.
I also don’t want people to think I’m “taking time for myself”. Taking time for yourself is AWESOME. Don’t get me wrong. But I’m sure about half of you saw those words on the page and rolled your eyes. Because society (*cough* the patriarchy) tends to think that taking time for myself means I can’t find a significant other so I’m saying I chose this because I love myself to avoid looking like I don’t have my shit together. Which, frankly, is ridiculous and one of the super frustrating things women (and humans in general) deal with on the daily.
I’m happy being single right now. I enjoy my own company. I’m learning who am I and what I love. I’m learning what my passions are. I’m not not dating, but I’m not actively looking for a relationship either. I’m content just living my life and seeing what happens. If you aren’t in a relationship, cool. If you are, awesome. You go Glen Coco – but make sure you aren’t making your choices in fear of what others might think. You’re doing just fine.
So, no, I’m not seeing anyone. And yes, I’m fine with it.