I’m Not Dating, and That’s OK


I’ve been treating 2018 as an experimental year.

Which means I’m in the middle of transitioning careers and more importantly, figuring out what I want to do with the rest of my life. Then how to get there. I’ve been focusing on what I enjoy doing, taking advantage of any opportunities that come my way and getting involved in the community.

It doesn’t leave time for much else.

I’ve been seeing my friends less and less, but they’ve been incredibly supportive. One thing I look back on is that I told my friends and family that this would be a busy year and although I love them and would love to see them, I need to focus on pushing myself ahead.

But I still often get the question - Do you have a boyfriend? Or Are you dating anyone?

The answer is no.

Lately, while more of my friends are getting married or committing to serious relationships - I’ve started thinking about my own life. I’m happy for them, I genuinely am. Especially if it’s something they’ve been wanting or planning. But I don’t overcompensate for the fact that I’m single. And as they’re happy where they are in life, I realized - so am I.

I’m happy not to be dating or in a relationship. With everything going on right now, I don’t feel comfortable enough to try either. And I don’t have to.

Dating can be stressful.

At times it can seem like it’s just not worth the effort. For me, right now - it isn’t. And I’m OK with that.

For me, dating is not a priority. It’s not even a concern. I don’t treat life like a timer or a race. I don’t think there’s a specific timeline in which things have to be done. As long as you keep working towards the things that are important to you. I’m also more of a take life as it comes, rather than forcing things into place kind of person.

Keeping that in mind, I realized that I’m more comfortable with the idea of dating later in life. When it is a priority and when I do have the time. Because it’s a personal choice. It’s a time commitment and an investment.

You’re choosing to spend your time with someone, hoping for something to result from it. That is, if you’re looking for a long-term relationship.

When you’re dating, you’re taking time away from other commitments and people. Which is fair. You have relationships and responsibilities calling for your attention. You have to split your time between all of them.

But I want to commit to myself. I want to achieve what it is I want to do (when I figure it out).

Right now, the thought of something long-lasting is overwhelming. I don’t feel like I could give it my best shot. So, I’d rather not waste my time or anyone else’s. If I were to date, I would be looking for something sustainable. Not something to pass the time. And that’s just my personal decision.

So I’d rather sort myself out first.

I want to be in a place where I feel stable. And I want to make a conscious effort, the kind of effort that I would want in return.

And if that means I have to wait, I’m happy to.

Even if I have to keep answering questions, or deal with other people’s confusion at the fact that I’m not looking to settle down.

Because I keep reminding myself, it’s my life.

I come first.

By: Jasman Sahota

#2018 #dating #relationship #relationships #single #Selfcare #jasmansahota #medium

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