Not Everything Is Settling.
Relationships are a rocky road – they are turbulent, calm, wonderful and exhausting – one human being is complex enough let alone two trying to coexist symbiotically. Lately I’ve been talking to many of those in my inner circles about love, and I’m finding that “settling” is becoming more and more of a buzzword. When I mention something my partner and I are working through their reactions are to dump him because I shouldn’t settle. That is a valid feeling. But what happened to allowing yourself to grow and allowing those you love to grow too? Everyone is different and everyone sees relationships differently. I wonder if we are so worried about finding the perfect partner that maybe we’ve lost view of accepting people flaws and all.
Now there are obvious exceptions, if something is making you unhappy, or it’s toxic or dangerous – those are absolutely reasons to leave. Yet what about the idiosyncrasies of sharing a life with another complex person? Are we so worried that we are settling that we are missing out on good people just because they have flaws. I worry that some of us are.
I am aware that there is no rulebook and that there is do distinct path for us to walk down in order to find our happy ending. I just hope we don’t loose sight of the validity of growth and change alongside a partner. That it’s ok to be with each other even if you’re on your own journeys as long as at the end of the day you’re happy.