Going On 30
I’m just a couple of days away from the big 3-0, and I’ve come to realize that there is so much pressure at the end of your twenties. This scary feeling that makes you think that you are “running out of time”. There is pressure into getting married, having children and this rush to speed up those things that you have yet not achieved. There isn’t an exact checklist that tells us what we have to accomplish in life, yet there is always that moment when we have all been asked "what are you doing after...?" There has been a couple of things I’ve noticed as I’ve grown older, lessons that when I was turning 20 I would just think it would be unbelievable to learn, but here I am writing everything I’ve learned these past ten years.
Turning 30 has made me realize that everyone has a different timeline and with social media being so “important” in our lives it’s easy to look at someone's life and compare it to ours. However, it took me a hell of a long time to realize that my friends’ timeline was just that: their timeline…not mine. And I think that’s why I’m so accepting and, albeit, excited for this new decade. The older I get, the less I care about others’ expectations. I remember that, when I was 20, I pictured that by the time I turned 30 I would have already been married and had babies. Notice that I said "babies" and not "baby". For some out there it has been easy to plan their next move. For others, unexpected opportunities or obstacles come between what they had planned out. I’ve been one of those people who have had both unexpected opportunities and obstacles, life has been filled with ups and downs for me, but to be honest, I am grateful for even those moments which I’ve thought that everything was going against my wishes and dreams, those obstacles and unplanned moments have lead me to where I am right now, and right now, I am truly happy with my life. I’ve come to understand that things happen the way they are supposed to, for good or for bad. That we must take every opportunity that comes knocking on our door and that if we don’t open the door to those new opportunities we will always wonder “what if?”.
Also as I’ve grown older I’ve come to realize that adult friendships are hard to maintain, they require a lot of time and effort, especially if you plan to go out and meet up with your friends. Nowadays, everyone has to pull out their calendars and make sure they don’t have anything planned for that day, including with those friends that are living far away. We have to open some time on our schedules to FaceTime or call them. I remember back in the day, when I was in high school and university, I used to have various groups of friends and we would meet up with everyone at least once every weekend. With time I’ve learned that everyone is doing their own thing and we have to accept the fact that we all have busy lives. We have to spend time at work, some are still attending school, others have families of their own who take up a lot of their time and other’s are just living their lives the way they want. Just because a friend is not available every single time you want to hang out doesn’t mean they are not your friend. We all have busy schedules and a life to make of our own and we have to learn to understand that that’s how life is. Also I’ve learned that it is okay to leave behind some friendships, especially those toxic friends, as harsh as that sounds, it happens. People change as they age and so does their ways of looking at things in life. Their views might not be the same as yours and it is understandable that you become more distant as time goes by.
I could say that it took me a long time to learn to love myself, this one is one of my favorite things I’ve learned and to be honest it is my top priority. I always struggled with my weight, I used to be an emotional eater and the fact that I grew up in a society where being thin is synonym to being beautiful did not help at all. Not only that, I had a certain pressure from my family as well, as I was the only one with big thighs and legs in comparison to all my older cousins. It took me so long to understand that my body was not the same as theirs, it also took me a couple of years to leave behind unhealthy eating habits, which was the biggest change for me and which to led me to lose a lot of weight. I can finally say that I love my body in every single way and that I am thankful to have found help from various people that came into my life with enough health knowledge. One thing for sure is that I didn’t learn to love my body because of the weight I lost, it was mostly because of the process I went through to understand what was good for my health. No one will ever love you more than yourself, as cliché as that might sound, take time to learn to be alone. And I know that loneliness is not fun for some, but it is important to learn how to cope with yourself and your own thoughts and not to believe every negative thing that pops on your mind. Learn to think positive thoughts and to look for the best outcome in every situation. As I once heard from someone, “don’t use your energy to worry, use your energy to believe”. The human brain is very powerful, and whatever you manifest, you will attract that.
Happiness is another of the things that I’ve learned to experience as I’ve grown older. I’m the only one capable to make myself happy. Obviously the people that surround me make me happy too, but it depends on me to let a situation or a person affect my happiness. I’ve always heard that life is like a roller coaster, it’s filled with ups and downs, and I couldn’t agree more with that quote. No one really knows exactly how their life might turn out to be. One day we are here, the next, we don’t know, therefore for now be happy with whatever situation life throws you, because as hard as it might sound, there is always someone out there who would want to trade their problems with yours. We all deal with different struggles but even the smallest act of kindness can change someone else’s life. Cultivate the habit of being grateful, no matter what situation you are in.
It depends on each one of us to just enjoy each and every moment, no matter how hard things get or how difficult it is to achieve that goal you put your mind into. We have to keep in mind that certain things take time, even though sometimes we tend to get impatient and frustrated for not getting what we wanted. Whenever you find yourself doubting about your most recent situation, just look back and see how far you’ve come. You have no idea how important timing is in life. When something is truly meant for you, you won’t have to force it, rush it or manipulate it. As for me, I can’t wait to see what is ahead for my life and the people that are part of it. Just as I said before, I am grateful for each situation that has made me who I am; each difficult situation made me stronger and made me appreciate those happy moments. There is no rule out there that states that you should live your life based on someone else's expectations. Live your life to the fullest and accomplish your dreams, no matter how long it takes you to achieve them, make sure you take your time to make them true.