I Wear Make-Up (Or Not) For Myself
On a date:
Boy: “Awh, did you get all pretty for me?”
Me: “No, I got all pretty for myself. I just happen to be on a (v short) date with you.”
I always say, “Look good to feel good to do good.” As a fashion and beauty blogger and a bit of a control freak, I learned that I do not have control over a lot of things in life, but I do have control over my clothes and makeup. To have such a voice in choosing what I put on myself is quite empowering, especially given my relationships with both mediums.
I chose to put emphasis on makeup because I have been shamed by both females and males for both wearing makeup and not wearing makeup. While I have been judged for my fashion choices, the products on my face tend to be the easier target. It is mind-boggling how much people care about my face. I still do not understand how my acne scars and cystic acne inflict so much pain on another being for one to believe I should wear makeup to cover up my flaws. I still do not understand how my glittery eyeshadow causes so much distress on another being for one to bring me down for not embracing an au naturel look. The irony to this is that I, indeed, practice on both ends of the spectrum and everything in between.
I must admit, however, my relationship with makeup stems from a very dark place of hate. Judgments from others evolved into self-judgments, which encouraged me to use makeup as a mask to cover up flaws. I, then, depended on makeup. I got to a point where I wore so much makeup that the people who once judged me for not wearing makeup told me that I should stop.
“You are fake.” As I touch my face and feel my flesh - I am very much real.
“You must be so insecure.” Yes, thanks to comments like that.
“You are still ugly.” I beg to differ, but we are all entitled to our opinions.
It was actually with my rebuttals that I was able to distinguish the opinions of others from my own. I chose to follow my own opinions because at the end of the day, I am the one who is living with this face (and body). People come and go, but I am with me for the rest of my life; therefore, I remind myself everyday to treat myself with utter respect and love. In practice, I call the shots in whether or not I wear makeup because I wear it (or not) for myself.
I have gone out without makeup. I have stayed in with makeup. It was my decision, and it should continue to be so.
I once talked to boy who was not fond of me wearing makeup. He gave me an ultimatum of picking him or my makeup. You best believe I chose my makeup.
(He later tried to reach out to me after a year and I chose not to look back.)