Note to Past Self

Hello hello! My name is Diem of My Ten Cents, and I am a fashion and beauty blogger. I started my journey about 5 years ago with outfit of the day posts, but now, I write about everything from styled look-books to product reviews to acts of self-love.

Unlike many fashion and beauty bloggers, I do not have a background in the arts. In fact, I am on the opposite end of the spectrum - I studied environmental toxicology and psychology in college. I do not have an extensive knowledge of designers, nor do I know which trend is in season. Instead, I use fashion and beauty as mediums for self-expression. I blog about their symbolic representations of who I was, am, and will be.

This was me - exactly 8 years ago in 12th grade. While the studio camera was able to capture the layer of acne-fighting foundation, bouncy curls with a ton of hairspray, no glasses, and no braces, it failed to capture the true essence of Diem circa 2010.

She struggled with social anxiety. She had problems maintaining any kind of relationship. She ate lunch by herself. She felt ugly and incredibly insecure. She lacked a voice as she remained silent. She was lost and contemplated suicide.

She was me.

My heart breaks every time I look at that picture because I wish I could tell her how beautiful and special she was. Then, I would ask her to be kind to herself because she was way harsh on herself. Last but not least, I would love to thank her for being strong despite it all because I am only here because of her.

I think of her every time I look in the mirror and compliment my little nose even though it has a cystic pimple on it. She crosses my mind in the middle of every collaborative photoshoot that I have had. Any feature or blogging opportunity (like this one!) is a team effort between her and I. My current efforts toward self-love are in pursuit of making my past-self proud.

While I am mentally in a better place now, I still struggle with social anxiety, but I have developed healthier coping mechanisms. I still have problems maintaining any kind of relationship, but I am better at talking about it and working towards a common goal. I eat lunch by myself by choice now. Sometimes I feel ugly and insecure, but most of the time, I feel freakin’ fabulous. I am no longer silent - I use my voice online and in person to share my thoughts and feelings. I am still lost, but I am actively finding my way as I am learning and growing at my own rate.

Note to future-self, I cannot wait to meet you and learn from you.

As always, please be kind to others and YOURSELF.

By @diemberly

#DiemLe #PastSelf #MyTenCents #Beauty #blogger #arts #selfexpression #throwback #socialanxiety #anxiety #sleflove #selflove #kindness

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