Read This When You Feel Like Your Life is in Free Fall
Things aren’t always going to be this way. Now is more important than ever to prioritize you and take time for self-care. I don’t mean self-care in a bubble-bath-treat-yo-self kind of way (although that wouldn’t hurt). I mean self-care in a take-control-of-the-wheel kind of way. I call it driving. But how do you take control when you feel like you are free falling off Everest?
Well snuggle up on to your couch or bed, and strap your blanket and/or doggo in because I’m going to show you some tactics I personally use to move from the passenger’s seat to the driver’s seat with only a pen and paper.
Got fear paralysis? Are your perfectionist tendencies getting the better of you? “But I’m not scared” I hear you say, “I’m just super stressed”. Well that’s perfect, because stress is just another word for fear. Think about all the times you have been stressed in the past, ask yourself, was it because you were scared that you couldn’t meet a deadline, expectation or goal? When I first realized this, my mind was blown!
The Fear-Setting method is courtesy of Tim Ferris but has been slightly modified. Pen on Paper: In the first column list all the things that could go wrong – think what is the worst that can happen? In the Second column, list all the things that could go right, think best-case situation here. In the third column, look back at the first column and identify what stories you are telling yourself, in other words, what are the assumptions you’re making about yourself or about your situation? Lastly in the forth column, ask yourself how you can test these assumptions or push the boundaries of these stories? It might seem weird in the beginning, but I promise that Fear-Setting has a way of providing clarity. After all, how can you start driving if you can’t see past the windscreen?
Ask absurd questions
How are you meant to know what path to take if you don’t even know what paths are out there?
Adulting doesn’t mean you have all the right answers, it means you are asking all the right questions. The quality of your life is determined by your ability to ask questions.
Pen on paper: Ask, what are some beliefs about yourself that are holding you back? What do you feel terrible at? Where do you think you let yourself and other down the most? Now shifting gears…. What if you were really good at the things you had listed? What would that look like? How would your actions be different? What if you played that out for the next 48 hours as if you are good at it?
In order to drive you need to know your car and how it runs. Asking and then actioning absurd questions let’s you see for yourself how you personally navigate around different terrains and where your limits truly lie.
Lastly, you can’t start driving without gas in the tank, so nourish your body, and gift it with love, moments of awe, inspiration, kindness and space. Be patient and flexible with yourself - self-care is like a muscle that gets stronger as you engage it more. Give these strategies a spin and let me know how you’ve gone.
Go get driving, your seat is calling.