Every female dreads it – that time that comes right in the middle of the month. No, it’s not your period, but it is the period when you desperately need your hairdresser, nail lady, and serious help. The in-between stages of our personal definitions of beauty, the stage of extreme frustration with our own physical appearance, and how much money we are about to blow in attempt to fix it.
I wish that I could give you a clear-cut answer as to how to feel beautiful when your eyes are telling you that you’re just not. I wish that every day could be one of those days when you completely feel like your best self – when there is no doubt in your mind that you are confident. Sexy. Perfect. Drop-dead-gorgeous. We all feel like that sometimes. We all wake up some mornings and look in the mirror to think Damn … I really am that b****. And it feels amazing. And we wish we could think of ourselves this way every single moment. But, we don’t. And why not? Because this beauty, that we are so sure that we obtain at this rare moment, is composed of a fresh nail appointment, filled eyelash extensions, waxed eyebrows, a recent haircut, and a before-breakfast belly.
I am tired of losing love for myself every time I lose an eyelash.
It’s a toxic trait – it's toxicity at its finest. Sometimes, I literally calculate how grown out my nails will be on the dates of future plans. How can I feel confident in a social setting if my hair is over-grown by an inch? It’s as if I cannot be desirable to a man, I cannot have fun, I cannot be myself, if I run out of lip plumper. Like always seeing the concealer bottle half-empty. It sounds dramatic, it sounds absolutely ridiculous, but these are the thoughts that go through my mind. This is the mindset that tags along with the pressure women feel from society to look beautiful.
It is hard to get used to our baby faces, which is ironic considering it is part of who we are. I won’t lie, it is extremely tough to feel like myself when my lashes aren’t fake, and my hair isn’t straightened – it is like looking at a portrait of my past self, a reflection of someone I want to believe I grew out of. But it needs to stop. We must not be afraid of our own identity. We must be proud of our bare, naked skin, and truly believe that it is nothing less than perfect.
So, how to find confidence during this period? I’m not sure I can tell you. But, what I do hope you can take from this, is that as women we are our own biggest critics. We look for our flaws more than anyone else. It is conditioned in us to believe we are composed of imperfection, but I promise you that we’re not. I bet when you were reading this, you couldn’t believe how “extra” I was being, but don’t lie … I know you have felt this way too. So, next time you leave the house, and you truly believe that every person on the bus will be focused on nothing else except that pimple of yours, remember that it is just a break out. We all go through the in-between phases of feeling beautiful and feeling not. And it is not as dramatic to anyone else, as it is to us.
Written by: Nicole Mior