Let me start off by saying I had a lot of difficulty starting off this piece. This was never supposed to be the beginning few sentences. I had expectations of writing things and then circumstances changed. Let me explain.
I’m a virgin. I’m in my early twenties and still hold onto this invisible status. If you refer to our previous article published here, you’d know that virginity is a social construct. I personally believe it was built on the purpose of enforcing purity on people.
Because I am 100% not the purest person in the world.
“Oh, are you saving it for marriage?”
I get that question a lot. And the thing is, I wish it was that reason. But no, I’m not waiting till I get married to get my “v-card” swiped.
I have terrible luck when it comes to dating. And sadly, I’ve come across guys who get afraid when I mention I haven’t had sex before. Sometimes I think dating would be easier if I didn’t have this useless title.
It’s frustrating, in so many ways.
When is the perfect time to tell someone you haven’t had sex yet? How do you bring it up? Do you hide it completely and just go in blind and yell “Surprise!” post-sex?
I ask myself these questions far more often than I should.
Sometimes it depends on the person and your own intuition. I personally think it’s wrong without letting them know what he or she is getting into. But there is a right time.
No point in starting off your first conversation with, “Oh, yeah. I’m a virgin.” You’re setting yourself up for a potentially uncomfortable conversation. I feel like I need to understand where this relationship is going. If I see something worth perusing, then yeah, I’ll bring up the question.
*I’d also like to point out that there are some people in the world who don’t mind being someone’s first; I just haven’t found them yet!
This post was supposed to be documented with this guy I met recently and how he would have taken me being a virgin. He was looking for something casual, given his busy lifestyle (absolutely nothing wrong with that). And I was looking to try something new.
But that didn’t happen since a planned date went unanswered, so I have nothing to document!
So, what am I doing right now?
I’m casually watching my dating app. I’m working on graduating. I’m praying for an internship. I’m posting for Ethereal to not just help give perspective to this community, but myself too.
I’m moving one day forward to the next day of my life. That’s all I can do really.
2019 isn’t looking too hopeful, but I came in with low expectations, so things can only go up from here.